Devils & Rye (Top Shelf Book 4) Read online

  “I meant that you do exactly what he always used to do to me. Never answer my questions. You avoid just like him.”

  Alec reached for the bag of pretzels and tossed them my way. “It’s late and I’m hungry. We have this fine meal ahead of us. I suggest that we stop this talk of rituals and societies and just enjoy the house.” He picked up his glass of wine and raised it for a toast. “Your mother always had the rule of no business talk on night one when we arrived. We are supposed to make a toast to the lake and the house. No talk except about family and friendships remember? We are only supposed to drink and be merry.”

  Feeling as if my mother was watching through the window of the kitchen like she always loved to do, I chuckled with the memory of how she would chastise my father and Uncle Alec for doing any business talk when we first arrived.

  I raised my glass, and said, “You’re right. She would be spitting mad if she knew we had been at the house this long and not have already toasted to the lake.”

  With glass raised, Alec said, “Here’s to the house, to the lake, to old memories and creating new ones.” It was the same toast we’d always given word for word in the past. “And here is to finding a safe haven in this storm of ours. We will emerge better for it.” The last part was added, but felt appropriate and welcomed.

  “Cheers,” I said, realizing I was toasting for the first time with wine rather than sparkling cider. “And to my mother and father who aren’t here with us.”

  “Who will forever be here with us,” Alec corrected. “Cheers.” He looked back down at the jerky. “Now, let’s take in the scenery and enjoy our gourmet meal and cheap wine.”

  6

  Makayla

  I was drunk.

  I had never been drunk before, but there was no doubt in my mind that the feeling I was experiencing was what being drunk felt like. And I had fun getting to this point. Alec and I had eaten all the gas station food, and drunk the wine as we talked about memories at the lake. Laughing, teasing, joking around… it almost felt like we were truly on vacation again. That we weren’t at the lake because of any other reason. For right now, and for this night, it was just Alec and me having a good time. I needed it. I needed it more than I even realized, and I was so happy for my mother’s rule about the first night at the house to not be serious. Alec and I were far from serious as our laughter carried over the glassy smoothness of the lake.

  Watching Alec top off our wine glasses with the rest of bottle number two—or maybe three—I giggled. “Papa never allowed me to drink.”

  Alec stopped mid-pour and looked up at me with wide eyes. “Are you telling me this is your first time drinking wine? Drinking ever?”

  I nodded and smiled wide as I giggled again. “Yup.”

  “Fuck,” Alec said, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Your father is going to kill me.”

  I huffed. “He was too overprotective. He never allowed me to do anything.” I held up my wine. “So if I want to drink wine and get drunk, I will. I can.” I stood up and wobbled to the edge of the porch. “I’m a grown woman now. I’m not the little girl you think I am,” I said as I turned and looked at Alec.

  I caught his eyes scanning my body. “No, you are definitely all grown up.”

  “Exactly,” I said as I pointed the wine glass forward as if to prove my point. “Do you know he never let me date? He never let me do anything. I was homeschooled after Mama died, and I literally never left the grounds of our estate. My only friends were the staff or their kids. I grew up in a damn bubble.”

  “That’s too bad,” Alec said softly. “But your father had his reasons.”

  I turned to face him directly. “It is too bad,” I slurred. “And I know he had his reasons. But I’m over it. I can get drunk if I want. I can be with a man if I want. I’m not going to die by doing so.” I took a long swallow of my wine. “It’s about time I live.”

  “I agree. It is.”

  “But who is going to want me?” I asked, turning my attention back to the lake. “Let’s be honest. I’m a woman trapped in a little girl’s life. I haven’t done anything a normal woman has at my age. I’m a damn freak.”

  “You are not a freak,” Alec said, walking up to where I stood and placing his hand on my back to offer some comfort. “Far from it. Plenty of men will want you. It’s refreshing to see a woman who hasn’t been tainted by the hardships of life. Your father kept you protected like a gem. And trust me when I say that every man in the world would want that gem in his possession.”

  “Do you think I’m pretty?” I asked as I turned to look at Alec. His face was close enough that I could see him clearly even in the darkness of the night.

  “Extremely,” he admitted softly. “You look so much like your mother, but even more beautiful.” He reached out and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. “Like I said, any man would be lucky to have you.” He looked down at my wine glass. “And if I knew this was your first time drinking, I would have splurged for the good stu—” Alec glanced at the house and then back at me. “I just realized we have the wine cellar. It’s full of wine.” He looked down at his half empty glass and laughed. “We’ve been drinking this shit, when I could have gone downstairs and gotten us a bottle from there. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

  I laughed along with him but then shrugged. “To be honest, I wouldn’t know the difference between good wine and cheap wine.”

  “Well you will tomorrow when you wake up with a headache. Cheap wine headaches are the worst.”

  I stopped laughing and stared directly into Alec’s eyes, and then his lips. I wondered why my stomach was doing little flips at the proximity he was to me, and why I was curious what his lips would feel like on mine. I looked back into his eyes and saw that he too was watching my lips. Was he also wondering what they would feel like?

  My inexperience and inability to read this situation confused me, and the wine only made it worse.

  Feeling like I needed to say something to break the odd connection we’d just had, I said, “See? These are things I know nothing about. I’m twenty years old, and you are having to school me in the ways of cheap wine hangovers versus good wine hangovers. But tonight is the first time I haven’t felt like a child. You make me feel like an adult. Like an equal. But will I ever be an equal? Or will you always see me as little Makayla deep down?”

  “I have to admit, it’s hard to imagine you as the little Makayla you once were. Especially how you look right now under the moonlight. Maybe it’s the booze talking, but I’ve never seen a more beautiful person.”

  The blush took over my entire body without warning. I quickly looked away and tried to regain my composure.

  Alec smirked. “I like the way you blush so easily.”

  I slowly turned my head to look into Alec’s smiling eyes. The soft wrinkles at the edges gave his charm a sense of maturity. He kept my stare locked within his for what seemed like an eternity. I felt as if his gaze was single handedly melting my heart. Alec had a power over my emotions that I was not used to allowing or understanding. His strength, his casual demeanor, his aura just screamed out, Man.

  Without looking away, Alec slowly leaned in toward me, with his lips only inches from mine. “We shouldn’t. It’s wrong. But it’s so hard to stop myself.”

  I looked down at his mouth and then back into his eyes and softly whispered, “I don’t want you to stop.”

  Alec moved closer, placed a hand on each side of my head, and softly pressed his lips to mine. The touch sent tingles through my entire body. My very first kiss. A kiss that I had no prediction would cause such a powerful and intense reaction in the depths of my core. His lips moved slowly along mine until I could feel his tongue lightly press past my lips to touch my own. The warmth, and the wetness, increased the desire building inside of me. His fingers caressed my hair softly as his tongue continued to explore. A kiss, the first kiss, was more than I could imagine. I could smell Alec, taste Alec and feel Alec. I wanted more.
I wanted the kiss to last forever. Never wanted his lips to leave mine.

  “We shouldn’t…” Alec murmured between our lips, yet he didn’t pull away.

  The sound of his voice, muffled by the kiss, made me gasp. Never would I have thought I would feel so much power from a simple kiss. At that moment, the only thing I wanted was for Alec to never stop. His hands moved down my back, and he pulled me closer. My breasts pressed firmly to his rock hard chest. As our bodies merged, our kiss became more frenzied. Alec pressed his tongue deeper within my mouth. I responded by opening my mouth wider and dancing my tongue with his. My breath mixed with his, my gasps swallowed by the kiss. The all consuming, most mind-blowing kiss. A kiss that I’d never known could exist. With one single kiss, Alec—my uncle figure—had captured my heart.

  Alec slowly pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. His brown eyes were glazed over, and desire coursed across his face. He ran a single finger along my jaw line and traced it along the edge of my lips. A small seductive smile formed as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose.

  “This can’t happen.”

  “But… I don’t care. I want—”

  “It’s wrong. So wrong,” he said, barely above a whisper.

  I had so much I wanted to say. I had so much I wanted to get out, but the kiss had stolen all words from my mouth. I could only stare into his eyes and focus on breathing.

  “But I’m so fucking weak,” Alec confessed as he brought his lips to mine again to give them a light brush, reminding me of the epic kiss only moments before. “But if we don’t stop here, I worry I won’t be able to stop ever.”

  I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to do anything but continue with what we were doing. I wanted this. I did.

  He pulled away and took a deep breath. “We’ve had too much to drink and need to get to bed. Sleep this off.”

  He took hold of my hand and led me into the house. It was hard for me not to cross my arms in a pout. I had just had my first kiss of my entire life, and now we were going off to bed like it never happened.

  “What bedroom do you want?” he asked as if nothing had just happened. As if we hadn’t just kissed on the porch. “You have your choice of any one. Do you want the master?”

  I shook my head. “It feels weird sleeping in the room that Mama and Papa slept in.” I looked toward the right of the main room and pointed. “I’ll sleep where I always did. I always liked how my room opened up to the screened in porch. I can hear the birds chirping in the morning.”

  Alec smiled. “I’ll take my usual room too. I love the view,” he said as he led me to my room, still holding my hand.

  When we reached my room, Alec opened the door for me and followed me in. He walked over to the bed and pulled down the blankets. I stood in shock. Not sure what to make of what he was doing.

  Was he tucking me in like a little girl?

  Did he want to have sex?

  Did I want to have sex? Yes… I think I did.

  But I think Alec was simply pulling down the blankets before he went into his own room and nothing more?

  The blush began to form without warning. I was thinking about having sex with Alec! Why was I thinking such crazy thoughts? Was this what wine did to you if you drank too much?

  Alec turned, smiled warmly, and patted the bed. “Okay, come lay down. A good night’s rest will do you good.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t want to be alone. This house is too big and…”

  He walked over, grabbed my hand softly, and led me to the bed. He sat me down and took off my shoes without ever saying another word. He then took off his own and stretched out onto the bed, pulling me into his arms.

  “If you aren’t going to rest by yourself, you are going to lie here in my arms and sleep.” Alec kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around me. “Now close your eyes, quiet your mind, and just lie down with me.”

  He said the few words I needed to hear. He understood that unless he was to lie with me, force me, make me do what was needed, I would overthink and not be able to get my father out of my mind. Alec understood me.

  I pressed my cheek to his chest and could hear his heartbeat beneath my face. His arms were wrapped around me, and his steady breathing was like a calm that washed over my soul. For that very second, I could just be relaxed. I could just be calm and be soothed. This was a sensation that I was not comfortable feeling, but before I could really process the emotions going through me, I fell asleep. I fell into a deep sleep in Alec’s strong arms.

  Alec

  What the fuck was I thinking?

  What the hell was I doing?

  This was Makayla!

  Little fucking Makayla!

  I was nothing but a dirty old man, and I was taking advantage of a sweet, innocent girl. What kind of monster had I become?

  As I lay in her bed, holding her in my arms, I silently chastised myself for being so weak. I had fucking kissed her! No amount of wine could excuse my behavior.

  But I couldn’t resist. The hours we talked into the late hours as the sun threatened to rise, I found talk so easy with her. I wasn’t a man who could just chit chat with many. Maybe years ago with Rhett and Minka, but that all changed. Relationships never worked for me because I couldn’t ever give much more than physical and the women, or I, eventually grew tired of that. But with Makayla… we had talked and laughed about the simplest things.

  Maybe this was just my cowardly way of trying to block out the awful situation we were all in. Maybe this was my way of mourning my best friend. Or maybe this was just me being an asshole.

  Makayla whimpered in her sleep and snuggled up even closer to me. Her pert tits pressed up against my side, and I about lost my damn mind. My cock painfully tenting my pants was going to make falling asleep next to impossible even though the sun was about to rise. I needed to get some sleep if I didn’t want to be completely useless for the rest of the day. Not to mention, I needed to sleep off this cheap wine drunk that caused me to fucking kiss Makayla!

  I’m sorry, Rhett.

  I’m so fucking sorry.

  I would do better tomorrow. I vowed it so. I would keep my damn hands off Makayla no matter how hot this woman was. I had self-control.

  I had self-control.

  Fuck.

  I hoped I had self-control.

  7

  Makayla

  My eyes fluttered open to find shadows cast against the walls of the room. Outside the window, I could see the sun had been up for several hours. It had to be midday by now. I tried to stretch awake and was restricted by strong arms wrapped around me. I was on Alec’s chest as it softly rose with his steady breathing. The smell of his manliness invaded my senses, and the desire to move my hand that was resting on his chest to his lower region was almost unbearable. This man had a power over me that I had never experienced. Everything about this was wrong. Papa would be so upset. So very wrong, but I couldn’t stop it.

  I felt his arms tighten around me and pull me a little closer to his body. “Did you sleep well?”

  His simple question and the huskiness in his voice sent fire through my body. “Yes… I did. Thank you. I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

  “You’ve been through a lot.”

  “I guess we both have. It was a long drive and night,” I said, feeling the need to have small talk and not face what had happened before we had fallen asleep.

  “Do you have a headache?”

  I paused to assess my body to see if I did. “No. I feel fine.”

  “You’re lucky then. Nothing is worse than a cheap wine hangover. Well, maybe cheap champagne hangover.”

  “I had fun last night. Thank you for allowing us to just relax and not… well, thank you for just letting us have fun,” I said.

  Alec patted my arm. “I had fun too. It’s been a long time since I have felt like that. Totally at peace and relaxed. This house always had a way of doing that for me.”

  I adjusted my head so I c
ould look into Alec’s eyes. “I’m glad you are here. That I don’t have to do this alone.”

  We both stared at each other for a few moments, scanning each other’s face, searching for a peek into our souls.

  “Alec, I don’t usually lay in bed with a man like this. I don’t usually kiss… well I don’t have any experience in this at all. And then the fact that you are my…” I didn’t want to say the word.

  “Stop. Don’t say that. I’m not your uncle. You have to stop calling me that.” He sighed loudly and stared up at the ceiling. “But that still doesn’t make this right. We shouldn’t have kissed. We shouldn’t be here like this. This isn’t the way it should be. But we have to take this uncle thing off the table. It was cute when you were ten, but now… now it is just… well, I think it’s time to end it. Just Alec from now on.” He sighed deeply. “I don’t know what the fuck got into me last night. I’m sorry, and I am going to make damn sure it never happens again. It shouldn’t have happened, and I take full responsibility. I’m not going to blame the wine or anything else. It was wrong, and it won’t happen again.”

  I took a deep breath before speaking. I wanted to be honest with how I felt even if it meant upsetting Alec. “So if this isn’t the way it should be, then why are we lying here? Why did we have the most amazing kiss earlier? Why do I want… more? This is wrong, Alec. You and I both know it, but at the same time, I don’t care.”

  Our lips were so close, that I silently begged for him to kiss me. I could have closed the distance, but I wanted it to be him. I wanted to know that he felt this too. That it wasn’t just the wine from last night. We weren’t drunk now. We weren’t out of our minds. I wanted him to kiss me because he wanted to. I wanted there to be no excuse other than he wanted to kiss me again.

  As if reading my thoughts, Alec lowered his mouth to mine. He kissed with more passion, and more excitement than the night before. He rolled me over onto my back and pressed his body on top of me. His mouth continued to claim mine as I could feel his desire building. I gasped at the sudden change but pulled him closer.