Beasts & Bourbon Read online

  “I don’t know that I can do this,” I confessed. I was about to ask for the driver to keep going when Roman took my face into the palms of his hands.

  Staring into my eyes, he said softly, “You can. I will be with you every step of the way. No one is going to hurt you or even come near you. I won’t allow anything to happen. I give you my word on that.”

  I nodded, but my heart beat so hard in my chest, I worried that Roman would practically have to carry me inside due to me fainting.

  “Once we’re inside the restaurant, the media won’t be allowed to follow. But be aware that there will be several people using their phones to capture our every move. Some will be media professionals acting as patrons, and others will be diners who will upload the video or sell it the minute they can. Don’t let your guard down. Just look at me. Tune everyone else out,” he continued with his firm guidance.

  I nodded and swallowed hard. Roman reached out for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I took a deep breath and said, “I’m ready.”

  The car door opened.

  My left hand extended.

  I clung to Roman as if my life depended on it.

  I smiled.

  But nothing could have prepared me for the colossal tidal wave that crashed down upon me. The deafening sound of clicking cameras had my head spinning. The shouts from the photographers were so plentiful that I wouldn’t have been able to answer one question even if I hadn’t been instructed to remain silent. If I hadn’t been guided by Roman’s hand wrapped securely around me, I don’t think I would have made it to the entrance of the restaurant. The flashing lights were blinding, and I struggled to keep my eyes open against the brightness.

  “Is that an engagement ring?”

  “Are you two engaged?”

  “Who is the mystery woman?”

  “Prince Roman, are you finally settling down?”

  “Will there be a royal wedding sometime soon?”

  “What does King Cassian say about the future princess?”

  Roman tightened his hold around my lower ribcage and leaned his lips down to my ear. I thought I heard him whisper, “Almost there. You’re doing great. You’re a natural.”

  Natural? Never. Never could I ever get used to this madness. But as I glanced up to look upon Roman’s flawless face, and his fake but perfect smile, I knew this was a madness I was willing to live for him. He was my Prince Charming in this dark lunacy, and I would wear my tiara proudly.

  We were ushered to a table toward the rear of the room. I could feel the eyes of the diners searing into my exposed flesh. I knew every single inch of me was being judged. Why was I the lucky one chosen to marry a prince? Why did he choose me out of all the women he could choose in the world? What did I have that they didn’t?

  Hell if I knew the answer to those questions.

  Roman pulled my chair out for me and kissed me lightly on the cheek before I sat. He then took his seat and for the first time since exiting the car, I took a deep breath and smiled. A real smile.

  “That was pure insanity,” I said. “Is this really your life?” I tried to keep my voice down, but luckily the diners had gone back to their own conversations, so there was a nice safe hum to the room and my voice wouldn’t be heard by anyone other than Roman.

  He returned the smile. “I know this is hard to believe, but you get used to it.”

  “I can’t see that happening.”

  “You will. It sucks, and it definitely changes how I have to live my life, but there are perks as well.”

  “You get to live like a king,” I said as I reached for the glass of water in front of me to help soothe the lump that had remained there since the media circus.

  “Yes, I get to live like a king.”

  “All of this makes me miss Costa Rica. It was quiet there. Relaxing.”

  The waiter came to our table and Roman quickly ordered us a bottle of wine, some appetizers and even our dinner. He rambled everything off so quickly that I wasn’t even aware of what I was going to eat. For a split second, the feminist in me got fired up, but the romantic part of me soothed the flames. Roman could be an arrogant prick at times, but the man was a gentleman through and through. Etiquette and manners ran through his veins and had been inbred in his core. The man knew how to treat a lady.

  Once the waiter left with our order, he said, “I promise we will vacation in Costa Rica so you won’t miss it for long. It may be shocking to believe this since I’ve traveled most of the world, but I have actually never been there before.” He paused for a moment as his gaze bore into mine. “Why did you go?”

  I shrugged. “I had heard it was beautiful and it seemed wild and free. It was a place unlike anywhere my parents took me on holiday. No way would my mother step foot anywhere in South America, so it was the perfect place for me.”

  “To rebel,” Roman said.

  “To figure out who I was as a person,” I corrected. “It may have seemed like rebellion, but it was a necessity. I felt like the world I was living in was swallowing me whole. Everything was so planned and choreographed. My entire life and future was mapped out for me.”

  “To marry me.”

  I shook my head and paused as the waiter came to our table and opened our wine. I held my words as Roman tasted the small sample poured into his glass and nodded his approval. When the waiter left, I said, “Why I left had nothing to do with you. I wasn’t running away from you or from marrying you.”

  “It felt like it,” Roman confessed.

  “I loved you,” I said softly. “So much so, that it scared me. I could see how the women flocked around you. I knew that everyone would have done anything to be your bride. I also knew I was chosen, but not chosen by you. Deep down, I believed that you wouldn’t marry me unless you had to. It was your royal duty.” I took a sip of my wine and took a moment to enjoy the rich flavors dancing along my tongue. “I suppose that I believed at the time that if I sort of vanished, you would figure out a way to marry someone you chose and live your life.” I took another sip, buying time to admit another truth that I wasn’t sure I wanted to share. “Plus, I knew it was unrealistic for us to both marry after only having had sex with each other. At least for you.” When Roman opened his mouth to speak, I cut him off by raising my hand and saying, “Which is completely normal. I couldn’t expect you to never be curious or have desires for other women. You needed that, and frankly so did I. But there was no way my heart would be able to sit back and watch that happen. I didn’t want to see you lie and cheat. It would have destroyed me. So, I left so we could grow up and live life. So we could both experience other things and other people.”

  “I allowed you to leave for the same reasons,” Roman admitted. “Trust me, it took all my might to not hop on a plane and chase you down. I knew I could have demanded your return and most likely had gotten my way, but I knew you needed time to… spread your wings, I guess the saying is.” He took a long drink of his wine and then leaned back in his chair with a devilish smirk. “But I knew it was just a matter of time until you would be mine again.”

  9

  Roman

  “You are so fucking sexy sitting there eating that steak,” I said low enough that only Cheri could hear me. I was a man known for saying exactly what I thought which could be a bad thing in life at times, but I didn’t care. I held very little back.

  Her eyes lifted from her plate and connected with mine as a tinge of pink colored the tops of her cheeks. “You’ve had too much wine,” she countered back without any hesitation. Another thing I loved about her—her sharp wit and venom-laced tongue.

  “I’m serious,” I continued. “I’ve never sat across from a sexier woman.”

  “Is that so? Are you going to ask me to spread my legs again so you can stare at my pussy?”

  God the woman had an ability to always make me smile like some weak-kneed schoolboy whether I wanted to or not. “Maybe. If it means we get to fuck again like last time.” My cock twitched at the thoug
ht of being buried inside of her again.

  “I think we should wait until our wedding night for that to happen again,” she said as she batted her eyelashes and tilted her head in feigned innocence. “I need to be the pure and innocent princess the world expects. What would the royal family think if they knew I was not a virgin?” She was trying not to laugh, but I could see the humor in her bright eyes.

  “Oh fuck that. Fuck that!” I chuckled. It felt good to be able to sit across from this woman I have loved my entire life and share a meal with her, bantering back and forth. It was easy, comfortable, yet she managed to keep my blood racing through my veins at high speed. I truly could see myself spending the rest of my life with her if she would be able to immerse herself into my world. But my world was unlike any other, and though she thought she knew all that it entailed, and though she had a very small sliver of a taste tonight, she truly had no idea of what was still to come. I feared she wouldn’t want to, or be able to do what would be required next.

  Next.

  What came next would be far more than most women could handle.

  Would my dark connections swallow up our budding romance before it even had a chance to bloom?

  “What just crossed your mind?” she asked, lowering her wine to the table with a look of concern on her face. “Everything about your eyes and face seemed to darken just then.” She put a smile on her face. “I was kidding about waiting until marriage.”

  I took a deep breath and darted my eyes around the room to make sure no one had seen the change in my expression that I hadn’t been aware of. “Sorry, it had nothing to do with what you said. I was just allowing the next topic I have to discuss with you creep in before I was ready to.”

  “What topic?” she asked.

  I didn’t want to ruin our wonderful night by discussing this matter, but I also knew there was no choice. It wasn’t fair for Cheri to get any further along in this engagement process and then throw this at her. She needed to know right off the bat what she was getting into and what would be expected.

  “You have spent your entire life being groomed to be a princess,” I began.

  She groaned and rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.”

  “But you were groomed for the young, innocent, and naïve parts you were privy to.”

  “Okay,” she said with a furrowed brow. “What are you getting at?”

  “I’m a powerful man who associates with other powerful people.”

  “So, you are saying that our dinner parties aren’t going to be the norm. I get it.”

  I shook my head slowly and poured more wine into our glasses. She was going to need it after I got done telling her what I needed to say. “You don’t get it. Power does not come with clean hands. Wealth comes with new rules. A darker law is formed among those who rule over their own empire. Secrets make up the backbone of the society in which I walk. Secrets that have to be protected at all costs.”

  “Roman, you aren’t making any sense.”

  “Like you, I’ve been groomed my entire life to someday be a king. Though it’s unlikely due to my older brother getting that crown, I was still prepared in all ways for that day to come. I have spent my entire life surrounded by powerful men and women who can be crafty, ruthless, heartless, and cruel at times if they have to. Wealth and power often forces one’s hand.” I needed to get to the point. I realized my trying to sugarcoat this was only confusing Cheri. “I am part of a secret society called The Iron Colt Brotherhood. I was born into it. It’s a society that is made up of old money, new money, royal money, stolen money, and blood money. Unlike some members, I didn’t get to choose to be part of it, but regardless, I am. Once you are a member, you are always a member. There’s no leaving it.”

  She nodded. “I’ve heard of this group. I don’t know anything about it really, but I do remember my father being afraid of them. I know he did things in regard to his business and money to appease them.”

  Her information surprised me. I hadn’t expected to hear she was already aware of the society much less that she knew enough to understand that they were to be feared.

  “Then you know that they’re not to be crossed.”

  She shrugged. “I suppose so. But I don’t understand why we’re having this conversation. Are you in trouble with them or something?”

  “No. In fact, what I’m about to ask of you is to prevent future issues with the brotherhood. And the reason I’m sweating my fucking balls off right now as I try to explain this, is that I don’t want to scare you off.”

  “If the army of photographers didn’t scare me off, I seriously doubt some ancient society can,” she said with a warm smile that I desperately needed to see at that moment. “Do we have to ask their permission to get married or something?”

  “Yes,” I said flatly. “In a way. Everything about the brotherhood is surrounded by secrecy. Therefore, when I go to a meeting, gathering, event, and so forth, it is forbidden to discuss it with anyone who isn’t a member. Business deals conducted among the brotherhood are to be treated as highly classified. Nothing can be discussed outside the walls of the society… even with your spouse. Doing so could mean extreme consequences that could even lead to death for both the member and the spouse. By simply being married to me, you’re at risk. I would have to hide a lot from you, even lie and betray in order to protect you.”

  Cheri’s eyes narrowed, and just as she was about to no doubt snap at me for something in the lines of her not accepting lies and betrayals, the waiter approached the table to ask us if we wanted any dessert. She declined, as did I, since clearly our minds were focused on something far more important.

  When the waiter left, I said, “Which is something I don’t want to do with you. I don’t want to lie or keep you in the dark about anything. I want an open partnership, and frankly will want you by my side at any dinner, event, or fucked up gathering of the rich and powerful. You aren’t a delicate snowflake, and, therefore, I don’t want you treated as such.”

  “Do you want me to become a member? Is that it?”

  I shook my head. “I wish it were that simple. Because the society is so archaic with very old school beliefs, no woman can truly be a member. But women can marry into the brotherhood if they’re willing to be initiated. They have to earn their way in.”

  “Initiated? What does that mean? Like a college hazing?”

  “Far from it,” I said. “The initiation is unlike anything you could possibly imagine. It’s not easy, it will demand things from you that only the strong can survive, and it will change your life forever.”

  “And you want me to do this initiation?”

  I nodded. “I do. It’s the only way to keep you safe, to keep our future family safe, and to appease the brotherhood. I keep myself cloaked in the shadows of The Iron Colt Brotherhood normally. I don’t stand out, or attend many functions unless I absolutely have to. Unfortunately, getting married to you places both of us front and center for a short time. If we play by their rules, do exactly as they ask, earn their trust, I know that we can then go back into the shadows and not be involved.”

  “So what do I have to do?” she asked, not seeming afraid at all. I didn’t know if I should be proud of her bravery or angry at her foolishness.

  “Submission. Full surrender to The Iron Colt Brotherhood.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” she asked, her bravado morphing into a mix of curiosity and distaste.

  “If you agree to the initiation, you’ll be picked up by an unknown member tomorrow and brought to a secret location. You’ll be expected to show that you are willing to give your body and soul to the society. You will be expected to earn their trust by showing them you can do whatever they ask no matter what it is. They will make you show your true submissive self and abandon the woman you once were. Their intent will be to break you in order to allow you to rebuild as an honorary member of the society. They’ll expect to see sacrifice, shame, humility, and complete abandon to all you once belie
ved sacred. The initiation is about releasing every shield and boundary you once had.”

  I was practically reciting the words of the brotherhood word for fucking word, and I hated doing it. I was not a man to be told what to do, but I also wasn’t going to put my future bride at risk.

  I watched Cheri as she processed my words. I supposed it was a good sign that she didn’t just jump out of her seat and storm out of the restaurant. I couldn’t possibly imagine what was going through her mind.

  “What do you mean by give my body? Will I be expected to have sex with them? Is this some sort of gang bang or something?” she asked.

  “Fuck that. No way. I would never allow something like that to happen to you. You are mine, and mine only. Though, I have seen initiations where the participant isn’t allowed to choose her partners. My royal blood and lineage gives me some power to make some demands. The only person you will be fucking is me.”

  “I’m not following you at all. Are you saying I have to fuck you to be initiated? Can’t you inform them that little deed has already occurred?” Her wicked smile was endearing. Even as we discussed some corrupt and immoral shit, she was able to keep a sense of humor.

  “You will be going through much more than just fucking. It’s not that simple. It will push you further than you have ever been pushed. You think you know kink… after the initiation, you will see how pure your thoughts and actions were in comparison.”

  “So sex? The initiation is about sex?”

  “Yes, and no. You’ll be expected to go through days of sexual submission… but to me. And The Iron Colt Brotherhood will be observing to make sure it is done to their standards. They will be watching to see if you truly are prepared to enter this dark and twisted world.” I took a deep breath to make sure that my next words came out calm and collected. “And, Cheri… I will understand if you say no. I understand if you don’t want to go down this dark path. But I hope you do. It will all be worth it in the end. You will be my equal rather than a woman blinded to the shadows around her.”